White Families You’re Not Doing My Kids Any Favors By Sending Your Kids to Our School

Nov 9, 2017 12:00:00 AM


The big buzz word in New York City education is: Diversity. On October 26, 2017, yet  another plan was announced, this time promising to bring diversity to Lower Manhattan’s District 1. District 1 is already a choice district, in that families are not limited to a local zoned school, but can apply to any school in the district. Placement is awarded via lottery. The new plan calls for setting aside varying percentages of seats for free lunch applicants, those living in temporary housing, and English language learners (ELLs). Although the stated goal is racial integration, specifically, assigning more Black and Hispanic students to top-performing schools because NYC cannot use race in its school admissions process, the above categories were used as substitutes. (However, you can obviously be White and homeless, Asian and free lunch, and wealthy and non-English-speaking.) The usual pundits have weighed in on whether or not the scheduled-for-2018 changes will make any quantifiable difference.  Not seems to be winning out at this point. As someone who has been covering New York City education for multiple years, I’m concerned about the fact that there is no talk of actually improving the schools. The only proposed action is simply to move deck chairs around on the Titanic. Or, more sinisterly, as I observed about the rezoning in the name of racial integration that took place earlier this year on the Upper West Side of Manhattan’s District 3, it’s a way to mix the low-performers in with the high-performers, and  deliberately obscure how the city is failing its neediest students. But, [pullquote]as the mother of three African-American children, my concerns are more personal.[/pullquote] I must say, that, firstly, I have never been thrilled by the implication that Brown children can only learn if they are sitting next to White children. Why would that be exactly? (I addressed effective, Black-only, Jim Crow-era schools,  here, as per Malcolm Gladwell…and my own father-in-law.) But what really makes flames come out of the sides of my head (ala  Madeline Kahn in "Clue") is the following: I have no problem with this. I sent my kids to the schools I believed would be best for them, with no thought to racial composition. (Then again, my kids are Black and Jewish, they’ll be in the minority wherever they go, and so they might as well get used to it sooner rather than later.) What I do have a problem with is the assumption that my—all—children of color are just another school enhancement, like field trips, art, music, and Mandarin lessons. In 2011, a  Politico piece on the integration of a Brooklyn school sent me into Madeline Kahn levels of rage when it described “the White Williamsburg parents who were willing to send their kids to school with Latino kids, unlike generations of parents before them. They saw themselves as progressives embarking on an experiment in integration.” How very, very magnanimous of them. They’re  willing to do it, are they? Let’s have a round of applause! And then let’s get one thing straight: White families are not doing families of color a favor by deigning to attend—and helpfully “improve”—their quaint, struggling schools, and Black and Latino families are not doing you a favor by adding a splash of color to Junior’s classroom. [pullquote position="right"]My children are not props, and they are not tools.[/pullquote] They’re not there for your benefit. We’re all here to learn. From each other. But not off each other. Now that we’re clear on that, let’s start a dialogue about moving beyond cosmetic integration, and about how, together, we’re going to make all NYC schools better for all of our kids.
An original version of this post appeared on New York School Talk as It’s Not My Kid’s Job To Make Your Kid’s Educational Experience Better.

Alina Adams

Alina Adams is a New York City mom of three school-age children and a New York Times best-selling author of soap-opera tie-ins, figure-skating mysteries and romance novels. She is a contributing writer to TODAY Show Parenting, Mommy Poppins, BlogHer, Red Tricycle, Café Mom and Kveller. After going through the New York City school application process with her own children and realizing just how convoluted, Draconian and needlessly complex it was, Alina resolved to help make all parents aware of all their school choices—and how to get them—via her books, “Getting Into NYC Kindergarten” and “Getting Into NYC High-School,” as well as her podcast, “NYC School Secrets: Parents Helping Parents.”

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