Every Parent-Teacher Conference Should Look Like This

I have a confession to make. I am an educator who doesn’t enjoy participating in parent-teacher conferences as a parent. Our son is a junior and our daughter is a senior in high school, and aside from going to open houses, I can’t tell you the last time we’ve participated in conferences.

It’s not because we’re not interested in our children’s progress as some would choose to interpret our absence. Far from it, actually. If I had to identify when my interest in conferences began to wane, it was when our daughter was finishing elementary school.

One of her teachers informed us at the conference that our daughter, who was typically a strong student, struggled in reading and writing. When we asked her for samples of our daughter's work and assessments to show us what she meant, she didn’t have any to share.

I suspect that our daughter may have been struggling to stay engaged with the grammar worksheets and spelling lists that were a regular part of literacy instruction, but we could not determine what the challenges were without data. We made the time to come to the conference and wondered why the teacher didn't take the time to prepare that information for us.

As a mom and an educator for the past twenty years, I am not only very interested in what is happening in my children's classrooms—I can also share my expertise in partnership with them. Unless I volunteer this information, however, most of my children’s teachers never know what I have to offer, and even when they do, not all teachers express interest in partnering. 

All families have expertise and experiences that can benefit the learning communities of their children.

Unfortunately, we're not always asked.

A School-Family Partnership Moves in Both Directions

I get it. As a former classroom teacher, I know how hard it is to fulfill all of the many responsibilities teachers have on their plates. What’s not okay, though, is not partnering with students’ families authentically and then complaining about (or standing silently by while others complain about) the lack of family engagement without evaluating how schools may be contributing to family engagement challenges. Resorting to comments about families not caring about their child(ren)’s education supports biases and stereotyping. It will not help teachers and schools to create meaningful partnerships with their students’ families.

My husband and I rarely hear from teachers outside of receiving invitations to open houses and conference nights. A few of their teachers use the Remind app to keep us posted about what’s happening in their classrooms, and a couple of their teachers have reached out to us by email to let us know what and how our children are doing. This is, however, more the exception than the rule. Usually, we only receive progress reports and report cards with limited comments. We have regularly provided feedback about our experiences to the district when we fill out the annual family engagement survey, but family and community engagement practices have remained essentially unchanged.

The logistics of open houses and conferences are not always inviting.

Suppose the open house begins at 6:00 p.m.. In that case, that doesn't necessarily allow enough time for family members who work outside the home to get home in time to participate, and not everyone can take time off from work if they are usually working at that time.

It’s hard to set aside time for an open house where we will spend less than ten minutes with each teacher. Ten minutes is not enough time to fill out the parent contact information and questionnaires about our children, hear a teacher’s vision for students, provide families with a chance to explore the learning space, and allow families to ask questions and have those questions answered.

Sometimes, the open house schedule does not include enough transition time, and some of the classrooms are spread out, so by the time we arrive to hear from one teacher, it’s just about time to leave for another class.

I’ve also witnessed times at open houses when teachers have communicated needs (i.e., not enough books for each student in an ELA class to have their copy of a text), and a parent has shared a solution (i.e., a parent who expressed that the PTO would be happy to fund the purchase of additional books so that all students could have copies to support annotation and note-taking), only to have the teacher/school not follow-up. It’s hard to continue feeling motivated to attend these events when it feels like your voice is unheard.

In the spirit of partnership, please consider these tips to help you facilitate effective conferences with your students’ families:

• Evaluate the version of family partnership at your school, and determine what version of family partnership you would like to exist with your students’ families.
  
  
• Provide flexible meeting options (i.e., times, dates, virtual or phone conference options).
  
  
• Advocate for increasing conference times to ensure that your students’ families have the opportunity to share information about their child(ren) and time to share celebrations and concerns, ask questions, and receive responses to those questions.
  
  
• Invite families to open the conferences to ensure their voices are heard before the allotted conference time runs out.
  
  
• If families cannot attend the school, consider attending home/community visits to connect with families.
  
  
• Consider the impact of not regularly communicating with your students’ families on their decisions to participate in open houses, curriculum, and conference nights.
  
  
• Speak up in the teachers’ room if you hear colleagues making disparaging comments about students’ families’ participation in open houses, conferences, and curriculum nights. If families don’t come to the school when invited, encourage your colleagues to inquire about the reasons why and create ways to overcome the potential barriers.
  
  
• Consider using the Bloomz, Remind, and Seesaw apps to regularly update families about what’s happening in your classroom.

And, as you plan your conferences this year, here are two resources to help you make the most of the time you have with your students' families:

• Facilitating Effective Family-Teacher Conferences
  
  
• Creating and Implementing a Family Partnership Plan